last night… I had a dream… I found myself in a dessert, called cyber land. It was hot, my canteen had sprung a leak and i was…thirsty. Out of the abiss walked a cow… Elsey. I asked if she had anything to drink. she said…. IMMMM FORBBBIDDDEEENNN TO PRODUCEEE….milk. In cybeeeeeeerrrr lannnnnddd we only drink…. DIET COKE. She said, only thing to do is jump over the moon. theyve closed everything real down. like barns and troughs and perffforrrmanncee spaces and replaced it all with lies and rules and…virtual life. But there is a way out… only thing to do is jump over the moon. IIIIVVVEEEE GOTTA GET OUTA HERE . ITS LIKE IM BEING TIED TO THE HOOD OF A YELLOW RENTAL TRUCK being PACKED IN FERTALIZER AND FUEL OIL PUSHED OVER CLIFF BY A SUICIDAL MICKEY MOUSE. IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIVVVVVVVVVVVVEEEEEEEEEE GOTTTA GOTTTA GOTTTA GOTTTTAAA GOTTAAA GOTTAA GOTTAA GOTTTAA GOTTAA…..GOTTTTAAA GOTTTTA GOTTTAA GOTTTAA… FIND A WAY….. to jump over the moon.. only thing to do is jump over the moon…then a little bull dog entered, his name we have learned was benny and although he once had principles he abondoned them to live as a lap dog to a wealthy daughter of the revolution… a 1 2 3 thats bull… he said….ever since the cat took up the fiddle that cows been… jumpy… the dish and the spoon was evicted from the table and eloped… shes had trouble with her milk and that moon ever since maybe its a… female thing…cuz whod ever want to leave cyber land anyways.? walls aint so bad. the dish and the spoon for instance, their down on their luck they come knocking on my dog house door and i say not in my back yard utensils go back to china… BEEEDDDEEEEBONNNGGG. the only way out is up! Elsie whispered to me…. A leeeaaaapppp offf faiiiitttthhhhhhh………..still thirsty?????
Parched……… have some milk….
And i lowered myself between her swollen utter, and i sucked the sweetest milk i had ever tasted….
CLIMB ON BOARD . she said, and as a harvest moon rose over cyber land we reared back we sprang into a gallop, leaping, out of orbit i awoke singing….
LEAP OF FAITHHH LEAP OF FAITHH LEAP OF FAITH LEAP OF FAITH
OHHH ONLY THING TO DO ONLY THING TO DO IS JUMP ONLY THING TO DO IS JUMP OVER THE MOON ONLY THING TO DO IS JUMP OVER THE MOON OVER THE MOOOONNN OVERRRR THEEE MOOO……OOO…..MOOOO…..
moo with me…..
please sir, give me a moo….
YES LET ME HEAR YOU….. mooooooooooooooooooooooo
So I haven’t really had as many bad customers lately, just the usual rude people. I am officially known as the panera slave. Here is my reason…
I am scheduled to work at 8 AM- 3 PM today… So I am sleeping and I get a call from my manager at 6:30 AM. She tells me its not very busy and asks if I would come in at 10 AM instead, but I have to stay until 6 PM. Being half asleep, I agreed and just hung up the phone. I was pumped for these extra hours of sleep. I was tired because I was hanging with my best friend ruby figueroa the night before. So I’m sleeping and a half hour later, approx- 7:15 AM… Panera calls.
“Hey Matt (insert shitty employeee here) didn’t show up for work… can you just come in now? I was confused as fuck, but I agree to come because at this point they had already woken me up… I get up, and I’m ready to start my panera day full of overpriced pastries, sandwiches, and salads.
I get to panera and I am expecting to maybe get off at my normal time, since I didn’t get to sleep in until the proposed 10 AM. I ask my manager if it is possible for me to get off at 5 PM… JUST 1 HOUR EARLIER THAN THE PROPOSED TIME. She tells me I have to stay until 6. So I’m bummed out about this, but whatever… Atleast I will have the rest of my night right????
“Hey Matt can you just close???”
———-are you fucking kidding me———-
I agreed too becauase they had nobody and I need the money.
in conclusion i am the panera slave. I am the boy who never says no to them, yet I never get the hours that I want or the position. Oh, and I’m pretty sure I make less than most of my co-workers
I had a CRAZY day at work today. I decided that I have such funny stories from work I may as well write them down so they can be looked back upon. Working at Panera bread comes with dealing with many different types of people.
Working cashier… This old lady wants to put more money on her gift card. We just changed our system for the cash registers so there are still minor quirks that need to be fixed. I explain to the lady that the register is not letting me put more money on her card. I get my manager and she tries and also fails… The old lady is confused and pissed (ofcoarse) because god forbid she had to wait an extra 2 minutes for me to issue her a new card. So I get her a new gift card and she activates it with 20 dollars. I hand her the gift card and she immediately goes to a different co-worker and says “You are the only one who knows how to take my order.” (thats funny because she wouldn’t of been able to activate your stupid gift card either). I am now in the middle of lunch time and the line is to the door. This same old lady comes up to me and tells me I never gave her the gift card back… I tell her that I did because I remember specifically handing it to her. When I deal with someone who has potential to be difficult I try and make sure I am extra careful. I tell her to please go check her purse or around where she is sitting. She checks, comes back and STILL cant find it. At this point she is talking to my manager (the same one that SAW me hand the giftcard to her). We told her to go check one more time in her belongings. She goes on a rant about how shes out 20 bucks now and its all my fault. She walks to the other side of the cafe and theres the giftcard sitting underneath the table. She doesn’t apologize for accusing me of stealing… RUDE.
2) We sell Soufles in the morning… a very popular breakfast item. We can only bake a certain amount as we have to make sure we are prepared for the entire week. We physically bake them in the oven and they take a good 20 minutes to completely back and prep. We ran out of a batch of soufles because a very nice lady bought about 6 of them. This man comes in and asks if he have anymore. I nicely tell him that we do not have anymore soufles we sold out. He starts yelling at me saying how unprofessional it is to not have any. Here is our convo.
Customer: You don’t have any more soufles?
Me: No sir, we sold out of them. A women just came in and bought all of them
Customer: THIS IS RIDICULOUS, EVERYTIME I COME IN HERE YOU NEVER HAVE ANY. DON’T YOU PREPARE THAT PEOPLE ARE GOING TO BUY THEM?
Me: Well I can’t predict who is going to come into the store sir (this is me trying not to laugh… I’m flattered he thinks I’m a psychic)
Customer: (Starts yelling to the lady behind him) YOU SEE THIS? RIDICULOUS THEY NEVER HAVE ANY.
Me: Well the next batch comes out in 9 minutes.
Customer: 9 MINUTES? NOPE. BYE. (leaves store)
3. Lady is ordering and I can barely understand what she is saying. She is very nice, and we make it through the entire order. she gets her wallet out and spills an entire Large Orange Juice all over my register. MIDDLE OF LUNCH. MY MANAGER WAS PISSSSED. lady just walks away (k byeeeeeeeeeeeeee)
Let me also mention that I opened and closed the store today…
5 AM- 1 PM
530 PM- 10 PM
I feel too much. That’s what’s going on.’ ‘Do you think one can feel too much? Or just feel in the wrong ways?’ ‘My insides don’t match up with my outsides.’ ‘Do anyone’s insides and outsides match up?’ ‘I don’t know. I’m only me.’ ‘Maybe that’s what a person’s personality is: the difference between the inside and outside.’ ‘But it’s worse for me.’ ‘I wonder if everyone thinks it’s worse for him.’ ‘Probably. But it really is worse for me.”
― Jonathan Safran Foer, Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close
Loneliness is the human condition. Cultivate it. The way it tunnels into you allows your soul room to grow. Never expect to outgrow loneliness. Never hope to find people who will understand you, someone to fill that space. And intelligent, sensitive person is the exception, the very great exception. If you expect to find people who will understand you, you will grow murderous with disappointment. The best you’ll ever do is to understand yourself, know what it is that you want, and not let the cattle stand in your way.”
― Janet Fitch, White Oleander — http://www.goodreads.com/quotes/tag/loneliness